Time: 5:45 am
Current temp: 32*F
Cloudy with a chance of Snow/Rain showers
Sunrise: 8:02 am Sunset: 7:17 pm
Hours of daylight: 11h 15m 30s
I laid in bed last night unable to sleep. My mind was racing with all the things I needed to do in the next few days. I thought about setting up the tables at the church for the young women’s activity we are having tonight. I realized that I don’t have a key to the Relief Society closet anymore so how in the world am I going to get the tablecloths out to put on the tables. I better call someone first thing in the morning and get a key.
I thought about making soup for the YW dinner. I better make extra for us, because I don’t have time to make two dinners. Do I have enough potatoes for 2 pots of soup? If I don’t I can get some when I take the kids to the orthodontist’s in the afternoon.
I thought about school the next day and worried if we would get anything done with everything else I have going on.
I thought about my visiting teaching and how I should see how Sister M’s trip to see her daughter and her new grand-baby went.
I thought about making the center pieces for the YW’s activity, and how I really appreciated Tabetha’s help with them. I almost sent her to bed when I sent the other kids to bed, but I needed her help. We had a nice conversation while we were dipping marshmallows in white chocolate, and she was a huge help. I’m realizing how grown-up she is becoming. She is turning into a great young lady. I appreciate my new calling in Young Women’s. It has allowed me to see her in a different social setting, and let me see a side of her I hadn’t seen before. She is a strong independent girl, and she is fun to be around.
Next, I thought about each of my kids in turn, about what great kids they are, and how they really do try hard to do what’s right. I thought about their strengths, and about how quickly they are growing up. There are going to be grown and gone in no time.
I thought about my husband, and what a wonderful man he is. I thought about how hard he works for us, and how he never complains.
Then, I thought about the day and about all the times I was impatient, too strict, grouchy, or just selfish. I thought about the times I could have given a word of encouragement and didn’t, and the times I could have given a hug, a pat on the back, or an “I love you.” Why is it so hard during the day, during the thick of everything, to be and do and say all the things that I go over in my mind at night? I should have told Logan that I noticed how hard he was trying to be nice, I should have given Jarom a hug when he sat by me on the couch, I should have been more patient with the girls, and does my husband know how much I appreciate him?
I offered a sincere prayer for help to be better tomorrow.
I think maybe one of the reasons God puts us in families is because he knows our loved ones are the only ones we love enough to truly change ourselves for. With the rest of the world I kind of have the “What you see, is what you get attitude.” If you don’t like me then don’t be my friend, but with my family, I want to get rid of my selfishness, and my pride. I want to be more patient. I want to be more generous, giving, kind and loving. For them, I’m willing to do the hard work to be a better person, and not only so I am better here and now, but because I love my family I want to be with them forever. I know I have a lot of changing and work to do to get there. On my own, I know I wouldn’t do it, I couldn’t do it. it’s too hard, and I’m too much of a wimp. So, I pray and ask God to help me, so I can be better for them. They are worth it.